Friday, June 22, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
My daughter
A few weeks ago, Liv was helping me make chocolate chip cookies. we had just finished the batter, and i said "Ok, now we need to add the chips. i just need to find them".
She said "I know where they are..." and ran off to get them.
Imagine my surprise a few moments later when she came back with the tube of Pringles - what are in her mind, potato "chips".
She said "I know where they are..." and ran off to get them.
Imagine my surprise a few moments later when she came back with the tube of Pringles - what are in her mind, potato "chips".
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
You'd never think of it...
...but Bacon and Whipped cream. Together. As in, put the whippo ON the bacon, and eat.
Yum.
Yum.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Friday, December 15, 2006
Signs you might take your religion too seriously
#10 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
#9 – You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that humans were created from dirt.
#8 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
#7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the male first-born babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" – including women, children, and trees.
#6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods consorting with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
#5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is about a couple of generations old.
#4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs – though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering, and yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
#3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor “speaking in tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" your choice of religions to be the correct one.
#2 – You define .01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers, and consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% failure was simply the will of God.
#1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but you still call yourself a Christian.
#9 – You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that humans were created from dirt.
#8 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
#7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the male first-born babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" – including women, children, and trees.
#6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods consorting with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
#5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is about a couple of generations old.
#4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs – though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering, and yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
#3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor “speaking in tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" your choice of religions to be the correct one.
#2 – You define .01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers, and consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% failure was simply the will of God.
#1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but you still call yourself a Christian.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
NERD ALERT!!!
<?song version="1.0" name="XSLT" author="Robin Johnson" stolen_from="JavaRanch"?>
Young man, there's no need to feel blue
I said, young man, here's a language for you
If your data doesn't look like it ought
There's no need to feel so distraught
Young man, if you're going through hell
Trying to transform all of your XML
I said young man, are you listenin' to me?
You can stick that damn ASP...
<xsl:template name="chorus">
It's fun to program in XSLT!
It's fun to program in XSLT!
Every line in your code
Is an XML node
And the program is one big tree
It's fun to program in XSLT!
It's fun to program in XSLT!
It works functionally
And it's side-effect free
And the variables don't vary
</xsl:template>
It's a language like no other you've seen
It's got constructs that will make you turn green
It's recursive as a thing that recurs
And it ain't got no procedures
Young man - if you don't know .NET
And you haven't read your Java books yet
There is still time to learn XSLT
It's almost as easy as C...
<xsl:call-template name="chorus"></xsl:call-template>
XSLT!
XSLT!
Young man, young man, there's no need for distress!
Young man, young man, put down that CSS!
XSLT!
XSLT!
XSLT!... etc.
<graphic id="dancers" type="ascii-graphics" by="Fred Rosenberger">
Young man, there's no need to feel blue
I said, young man, here's a language for you
If your data doesn't look like it ought
There's no need to feel so distraught
Young man, if you're going through hell
Trying to transform all of your XML
I said young man, are you listenin' to me?
You can stick that damn ASP...
<xsl:template name="chorus">
It's fun to program in XSLT!
It's fun to program in XSLT!
Every line in your code
Is an XML node
And the program is one big tree
It's fun to program in XSLT!
It's fun to program in XSLT!
It works functionally
And it's side-effect free
And the variables don't vary
</xsl:template>
It's a language like no other you've seen
It's got constructs that will make you turn green
It's recursive as a thing that recurs
And it ain't got no procedures
Young man - if you don't know .NET
And you haven't read your Java books yet
There is still time to learn XSLT
It's almost as easy as C...
<xsl:call-template name="chorus"></xsl:call-template>
XSLT!
XSLT!
Young man, young man, there's no need for distress!
Young man, young man, put down that CSS!
XSLT!
XSLT!
XSLT!... etc.
<graphic id="dancers" type="ascii-graphics" by="Fred Rosenberger">
</graphic>
x ,- |
/0\ \0 |O___ ___O___
-|- /\ | |
| |-' | |
/ \ / \ / \ /
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